The Holidays Can Be Complicated—Here’s How to Keep the Heart in It
In Hillsboro and across Oregon, winter often brings a quiet beauty—misty mornings, soft flurries, and the cozy pull of a second cup of coffee. But for many older adults, the holidays also stir up more than joy. Loneliness, grief, or feeling left out of the flurry of activity can creep in quietly.
Maybe your mom moved into independent living recently. Maybe your dad can’t drive in the snow anymore. Traditions shift—and that can feel tender.
If you’re wondering how to make your parent or elder loved one feel truly seen this season, you’re not alone. The good news is that it doesn’t take flashy gifts or big family gatherings to show love. In fact, small, sincere gestures go a long way—especially when they’re personal.
What “I Love You” Can Look Like, Without Saying the Words
1. Bring the Old Traditions to Their New Home
If Mom always baked cranberry orange bread the day after Thanksgiving, bring her the ingredients and bake it together in her suite’s kitchenette. If Dad always picked the holiday tree, invite him to help choose a tabletop version for your place—or his. These tiny continuities tell them: You still matter. You’re still part of this.
At MorningStar of Hillsboro, our independent living residents have the freedom to celebrate in their own way. But a little help from family to carry those traditions forward can make all the difference.
2. Turn a Simple Visit into a Mini Adventure
You don’t have to plan a grand event. Bring a thermos of cider and stroll through nearby Noble Woods Park or drive past neighborhood lights with music playing and stories flowing. The act of doing something together, even for an hour, can lift spirits.
3. Mail Still Matters (Yes, Really)
Handwritten notes and photos are powerful. You can’t always be there in person, but a simple card with a short update or photo of the grandkids brings joy that lasts far longer than a text.
If you have kids or teens, ask them to draw a card or write a memory. Elders often keep these treasures long after the holidays have passed.
4. Listen More Than You Talk
During the rush of the season, it’s easy to fill time with updates or to-do lists. But pausing to really listen, without distractions, can be the most meaningful gift. Ask open questions like:
- “What was your favorite winter as a kid?”
- “Is there a tradition you miss?”
- “What do you look forward to now?”
You may be surprised at what you learn—and how much your loved one lights up from simply being heard.
5. Honor the Emotions That Come Up
The holidays can also bring grief, especially for seniors who’ve lost spouses, siblings, or lifelong friends. You don’t need to fix it. Just saying “I know this time can be hard” and offering a quiet presence speaks volumes. It’s okay to sit in silence with someone. It still says: You’re not alone.
Keep It Simple, Keep It Real
One of the gifts of aging, and of Oregon life in general, is learning to value presence over performance. That applies to the holidays, too. You don’t need to pull off a picture-perfect gathering. You just need to show up—with intention, warmth, and patience.
Whether it’s trimming a tiny tree in your parent’s apartment or bringing them a steaming bowl of your famous lentil stew, the heart behind your actions is what matters most.
If Your Loved One Lives at MorningStar of Hillsboro
Here in our Hillsboro community, we do our best to make the holidays feel special, comforting, and inclusive. But nothing replaces the unique love only family can bring.
- Want to host a small gathering? Let us help you book a space.
- Need ideas for memory-friendly holiday activities? Just ask our Life Enrichment Team.
- Can’t visit in person? We’ll happily assist with a video call setup or help your loved one open mailed packages.
Our goal is to support you in loving your way—and make it easier during this meaningful season. No matter how you show it, love has many languages. And often, the quiet, thoughtful ones are the most powerful.
